Hate is Powerful and Toxic

There is a thin line between love and hate, both are powerful feelings that can drive people to do crazy things. Hate, however, is also a toxic emotion that poisons those who chose to harbor it.

Hate’s ironic toxicity

Yes, people can chose hatred. We can chose to hate our bosses, our exes, and those who are different from us.

The feelings may be justified, we may be rightfully angry with our chosen foes and wish them the misfortunes we think they deserve. But the irony is we hurt ourselves more than others when choosing hatred.

A Buddhist saying resonates, “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” The same goes for hatred. Think of all the time, energy, and stress that goes into passionately hating someone or something.

We’ve all seen it in books and movies, villains so consumed by hatred that it possesses every aspect of their being. Black cloak, blood-shot eyes, evil cackle and all – mUaH-ha-Ha-hAa! Do you really want to be that villain? Then why invest so much into something so unwanted?

Taming the beast

Clearly, we should not, but hate is a powerful monster that takes time, patience, and discipline to tame. If you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired, here are some simple steps you can follow to tame the beast, take back control, and improve your quality of life.

These steps are easier said than done so it may help to enlist the help of a support person, like a confidant or a professional therapist. Just be sure it’s someone who’s positive, open-minded, and has your best interests at heart. Also, keep notes, a journal, or recordings of your work and findings.

1. Recognize and admit hatred

We cannot fight what we cannot see. To fight hate, you must recognize it for what it is and admit to any hatred you shelter. Calmly assess what people or things cause stress, anger, or unhappiness in your life. If you feel hatred for anything, call it out and carefully evaluate the what, why, and how of each to understand the root causes of your feelings.

2. Empathize and take ownership

EQ is more important than IQ when dealing with hatred. Build on your findings from step 1 and see things from the opposition’s perspective. How do they feel? Why? What have you done, even inadvertently, to influence that? Your willingness to understand and empathize is crucial to defeating hatred. It will help you recognize we all have faults and that the best of us own up to ours.

3. Grow and be better

Turning the other cheek may be the most difficult step, but this is what is necessary to finally transcend hatred. Empathy and personal responsibility culminate in growing and becoming a better person by demonstrating the qualities you wish to see in others. Chose to forgive and apologize for our own missteps without conditions or expectations. That doesn’t mean you need to be best friends with someone who hurt you, but you can chose to move forward and leave hatred behind.

4. Choose and commit to being happy

Defeating your demons is not easy and neither is keeping them away afterward. But just as you choose not to hate, you can also choose to be happy. Happiness is a state of mind, a way of thinking. We can deliberately choose to focus on what is good and consciously chose to be positive and grateful.

In summary

Harboring hatred hurts you more than others. Changing your mindset and eliminating hatred is not easy, but nothing worth having is. With discipline and perseverance, you can choose to live a life of happiness instead of hatred.

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HWL