Secret to Being Happy

The basics of happiness

At the most basic level, happiness in contemporary society requires money. To be sustainable, it requires wealth. That’s no secret to being happy, just a simple fact of life.

That DOES NOT mean money is or can buy happiness. Money isn’t the end goal but a necessary means to an end. That end could be sipping pina coladas on the beach, spending quality time with family, or whatever makes you happy.

Money is simply what enables us to do what we want when we want. And wealth is the freedom to pursue happiness without monetary limitations.

Not everyone agrees with this and some insist money is the root of all evil. But refusing to accept money’s significance is failing to understand reality and is an impediment to achieving happiness.

The sooner we recognize why money matters, the sooner we can use it to pursue what matters most.

Not-so-secret to being happy

Recognize happiness doesn’t require obtaining a specific amount of money or wealth. The adequate amount is relative, and so is happiness. That brings us to the secret to being happy... happiness is all in our heads. Literally, it is a state of mind, a way of thinking.

We chose what we want, what we do, and what we believe in. Those choices define who we are and how we experience life. So, you want to be happy? Here’s the not-so-secret process for achieving happiness.

Step 1: Choose and decide to be happy

It starts in your head. You must choose to focus on what is positive and recognize what you should appreciate. This may be difficult for those in the habit of negativity, “I never get what I want and I’ll never be happy.” But such statements are not true.

We all have reasons to be grateful, reasons as simple as family or friends and even another day of sunshine. If you live in a developed country like the US, you’ve already won the geographic lottery.

One-third of the world’s population lacks clean drinking water. Children are dying from war and famine all around the world. Choose to see, recognize, and appreciate your blessings.

Creating a daily habit of appreciation will help you think positively, focus on what’s good, and attract the right people, energy, and opportunities into your life. Understand that negativity attracts circumstances and relationships of the same disposition.

Part of your transformation may involve removing toxic people and things from your life. Don’t burn bridges, just communicate that you are focusing on yourself and may be out of touch (it’s you, not them).

Replace negative with positive influences; people and things that support you rather than break you down. It won’t be easy and will take time, but discipline and determination will persevere.

step 2: know what you want and where you are going

Just as you chose what to believe, you also chose what to want. But before choosing what you want, you must know what makes you happy.

This is something only you can answer. There are no right or wrong answers, just your own. It’s your life and your happiness to define.

Write it all down and keep clear notes you can review and amend over time as things change. After you clearly define what you want, think backward and visualize what’s needed to connect the dots from where you are to where you want to be.

Think step by step, breaking down each one into smaller steps until you have a list of practical and manageable action items.

Progressing along these small steps from day to day creates a pathway for reaching your end goal and achieving happiness.

This boils down simply to having a clearly defined plan. You don’t start a trip without directions, and you cannot connect the dots unless you know where points A and B are.

step 3: take action, pay attention, and be present

Having a plan is important, it provides guidance on what to do. But knowing what to do and actually doing it are different things.

The best planning is useless without implementation. So, in Nike’s spirit, “just do it.” If you completed Step 2, then you have clear instructions for what to do, step by step, day by day. So, get to it, and let’s go.

Along the way, you must also pay attention. That means having a clear system for monitoring, measuring, and evaluating progress. Are your results as expected, better or worse?

Do this in an objective and quantifiable way. For example, if you want to “improve health,” translate that into targets for weight, glucose level, and blood pressure.

This is where money is a useful tool. Needs and goals can be translated into quantifiable dollar amounts. For example, if you want to retire by a certain age with a certain lifestyle, then you need to accumulate a certain amount of savings.

Money is not the objective, but a means to an end. Dollar amounts create clear and objective targets for measuring progress and results.

Give yourself some time to achieve results, but if your actions are not achieving the desired outcomes, go back to your plan and make adjustments. Then rinse and repeat, implement and pay attention again.

Paying attention to actions and results will help you refine your strategies and tactics over time. This is an ongoing process and not a check box.

Last but not least, you must be present. Don’t focus so much on the final destination that you ignore the journey. That is where life, learning, and experience take place.

As the saying goes, don’t forget to stop and smell the roses. Celebrate your milestones and achievements; appreciate your progress and accomplishments.

Take needed breaks periodically to reflect and re-hone your focus. In doing so, you might even find happiness earlier than expected.

The happy lesson

It may not be a secret for everyone, but happiness really is all in our heads. It starts with our thoughts, with how and what we think. It manifests in what we chose to do from day to day.

Start thinking the right way, positively, strategically, and with a clear plan. With the right mindset, discipline, and determination there’s so much you will achieve, including happiness.

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HWL