The Here and Now of Happiness

A secret to being happy

We all know people who can’t seem to be happy, they might even include ourselves! Despite the countless self-help and motivational gurus offering (selling) programs that promise to help us find the path to happiness, it remains elusive for many.

In a previous post, we wrote the not-so secret key to being happy is in our heads. Literally, it begins and ends with our thoughts and the right mindset. One that is focused on, you guessed it, being happy.

That’s easier said than done, and it involves many considerations, but one of the most important things we can do is learn to be appreciative and grateful.

It’s only natural

To start, we need to understand why we need to control our thoughts in the first place. All animals, including humans, are biologically wired to focus on negatives to stay alive.

In the wild, animals are constantly on the watch for threats and dangers. Some feverishly search for and stockpile food in fear of not having enough to last the winter. This behavior is instinctual, and ingrained through millions of years of evolution.

Old habits die hard, so a few thousand measly years of modern human civilization are not enough to unload our evolutionary baggage. We no longer look out for wolves or lions, but we drag around new fears and problems like jobs, bills, and keeping up with the Joneses.

Left to our natural inclinations, it’s easy to focus on life’s negatives, like the never ending to-do list and everything we feel is lacking. The bigger house, the nicer car, the picture-perfect family vacation your neighbors took (the Jonses). The wants and feelings of inadequacy are never-ending and can be all-consuming, if we let them be.

Fortunately, as humans, we have the ability to be aware of and to be in control of our thoughts. We can consciously and deliberately change the way we think. We can stop focusing on negativity and instead on being appreciative and grateful for the positive.

Appreciation and gratitude are related and often lumped together, but they are distinct things.

What is appreciation?

Appreciation is about recognizing and valuing the positive qualities of the people, things, and experiences in our lives. An appreciative mindset sees beauty and wonder, it helps us experience happiness in even the simplest of things.

Appreciation can transform mundane experiences into sources of happiness. For example, appreciating a warm cup of coffee in the morning, or the comfort of a cozy blanket at night. When we appreciate these simple things, we can transform them into meaningful and joyful experiences.

Appreciation can also foster happiness through an “abundance mindset.” This is in contrast to the ubiquitous “scarcity mindset,” which thinks there is never enough of what we want. Appreciation helps us recognize all that we already have and reduces the incessant wanting of more, which is a common source of unhappiness for many people.

What is gratitude?

While appreciation values something for what it is, gratitude is more relational and focuses on acknowledgement and gratefulness for the people, things, and experiences that make positive contributions to our lives.

Gratitude often invokes feelings of thanks and humility towards someone or something in return for something received. It could be something material, an experience, an act of kindness, or some other benefit.

One of the most significant ways gratitude enhances happiness is through its impact on relationships. Humans are inherently social beings, and the quality of our personal relationships plays a crucial role in our overall happiness. Gratitude strengthens social bonds by fostering a cycle of positive reinforcement and promoting a sense of mutual appreciation.

The Profound Impact of Appreciation and Gratitude on Happiness

We live in a fast-paced, high-stress world that promotes competitiveness, instant gratification, and the never ending accumulation of material possessions, often at the expense of others. We mistakenly believe that such riches will somehow lead to happiness. But there’s always a bigger house, a nicer boat, or a newer plane. Where does it end?

The truth is, greed is a road to nowhere that can never be satisfied. Best not to wander down that dark path. Better to understand that the way to true, enduring happiness starts in our heads and not what we see on Instagram. It is guided by our ability to practice appreciation and gratitude.

If we can learn to be genuinely grateful and appreciative of all that we already have in our lives, then we can transcend feelings of inadequacy, lacking, jealousy, resentment, hate, and all the other negative energies that drain our happiness.

By being truly grateful and appreciative, we recognize we already possess everything we need to be happy. We can exist in the present with a mindset of peace, serenity, and abundance. We can, should, and deserve to be happy, right here, right now.

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HWL